The Eyes are a Window to the Past
by JustLove201
Summary: The boy's eyes take him back to a place he'd rather not go. Remus/Lily, mentioned James/Lily.


**This story is for Samantha via GGE.**

Remus can't seem to get those eyes out of his head. Her eyes. The boy has her eyes and Remus can't stand it. Every time Remus looks at Harry all he sees is _her._ The love of his life. The beauty that helped him get through all those lonely times when no one knew about...his problem but her. The light of his life which was now gone leaving him in only a sad and lonely darkness.

Remus longed for the times long ago when he and the marauders would laugh together and when she would watch them. She would scowl at the others but when her eyes rested on him, her eyes seemed to soften. Remus would gaze into her beautiful green eyes watching as the wind tossed around her red hair. Those eyes, though, it was hard to forget those eyes. The ones she had passed on to her son. Harry looked every bit like his father...except his eyes. He had to have her eyes! Now Remus had a hard time looking the boy in the eyes without seeing her.

Whenever he looks into those eyes he thinks of her, of all the good times they shared...

* * *

 _-1976-_

 _"Remus?"_

 _The teen in question looked up and smiled at the person who had called his name. When his he saw who had called him he smiled, "Lily."_

 _She smiled and walked over to where he had been sitting under a tree. She sat down next to him and looked at the book in his hands, "What're you reading?"_

 _He shrugged, "Just some book for school."_

 _Lily shook her head with a small smile on her face, "You're always reading for school. Do you read anything for fun?"_

 _Remus had smiled at her and nodded his head, "I do Lil, but you see your version of fun is probably different from mine."_

 _"What's your version of fun?"_

 _He shrugged, "Well...books for school are usually fun to read. History books, Potions books, Spells books, they're all rather fascinating."_

 _Remus looked towards Lily to see her smiling. Her beautiful green eyes were lit with something akin to adoration._

 _"Our versions of fun aren't_ that _different." Carefully, she took out her own book._

 _Remus looked at the cover and saw that it was a book about different types of magical creatures. He smiled slightly and looked at her. Lily smiled slightly with an unreadable look on her face. She opened the book and talked without looking at Remus._

 _"It's a fascinating book. I'm reading a section about werewolves." It was said very casually but at the word werewolves Lily had glanced at him with a glint of suspicion but a moment later it was gone and she was smiling at him again._

 _Remus gulped and nodded with a forced smile, "Sounds great Lil."_

 _He looked between them and only than noticed how close they were to each other. He noticed how close her lips were to his. So close, in fact, that if he leaned just a little closer..._

 _"You know," Lily said in an almost whisper, "It's our fifth year and we're prefects, that means it's our responsibility to take away points and give detentions to those who misbehave...even if they're our friends."_

 _Remus sighed, "I know what you're getting out Lil, but they've been so much better this year. They're not causing as much trouble as they used to."_

 _"I know Remus, but they do still cause trouble even if it's not as much trouble as it used to be. They still pull pranks and you see them do it which means you can take away points from them or give them detention," Lily sighed, "I know they're you're friend but that should be another incentive for you to keep them under control. It's not like they're going to hate you because of that."_

 _She'd hit a nerve there even if she hadn't done it intentionally. One of Remus' biggest fears was that his friends were going to leave him, hate him, and kick him out of the marauders know that he was a prefect. Remus knew they were his friends but he also knew Sirius and James didn't like prefects and Peter...well Peter would do whatever Sirius and James did even if that meant leaving Remus behind._

 _Lily frowned, "Where are they anyway?"_

 _Remus shrugged, "Last I saw them-"_

 _That's when they heard a scream and a very loud, "JAMES POTTER!" followed by laughing. Remus knew it meant they had just pulled another prank._

 _Lily seemed to know what it meant too. She closed her book and got up with a frustrated groan and without another glance at Remus she ran off towards the direction of the yelling._

 _Remus sighed, "Bye Lily flower."_

* * *

Remus sighed. Currently he was sitting in his office at Hogwarts, all alone, with a picture of Lily in his hands James was next to her and they were laughing and smiling and waving to the person taking the picture. Lily looked as beautiful as ever. It was their wedding day, Sirius had been the best man and even though Remus hadn't wanted to go Lily and James begged him to. He could never say no to Lily...

* * *

 _-1979-_

 _"Oh please Remus, won't you come?" Lily had given him the puppy eyes which she knew was one of his weaknesses. In Remus' opinion that wasn't very fair._

 _He saw the pleading in her beautiful green eyes. Remus sighed, "I'd love to Lil but..." He hesitated to think of a good excuse as to why he would not be attending his friends wedding._

 _James saw his friends hesitation, "But nothing. Admit it Remus you have nothing else going on, why won't you come to our wedding?" There was some concern in James' voice._

 _Remus hesitated to answer. James sighed and looked at Lily, "Can you give us a minute Lil?"_

 _Lily nodded and sent a concerned look towards Remus before leaving._

 _Remus looked at his friend, "James-"_

 _"No. I don't want excuses I want the truth."_

 _Remus sighed. In his mind he thought, '_ The truth is I love your fiance.' _but he didn't say that out loud, instead he said, "Fine, I'll go to your wedding but just know that your taking me away from some very important work."_

 _James had laughed, "Right." He frowned a little a second later, "You never answered my question."_

 _"You never asked one." It was true, all James had said was that he wanted the truth he never asked specifically for the truth only stated that he wanted it. Remus was not obligated to respond to that, so he never did._

* * *

Remus remembered every detail of the wedding. How beautiful Lily had looked, how her smile was wider than he had ever seen it, how she smiled but only he saw the sadness in her eyes when she looked at him, how much it hurt when Lily said those two words 'I do' to his best friend, and above all he remembered how he had walked up to her before the ceremony, when they were all alone, and she had... _kissed_ him.

* * *

 _-1979-_

 _Remus had managed to escape Sirius and James while they were getting ready and went towards Lily's room. He knocked on her door and when he heard her say "Come in." he went into the room._

 _The sight before him took his breath away. There stood Lily with her hair in a beautiful side braid draped over he left shoulder, a strand of hair sticking out on her right side, there was a pink lily in her hair, he dress was gorgeous with beautiful green designs outlined with gold on them, and her wonderful green eyes shown with nervousness and excitement._

 _"You look...stunning."_

 _She had blushed a little, "Thank you Remus."_

 _He had simply nodded, "The flower is a nice touch and of course that beautiful green design on your dress brings out your eyes, oh and-"_

 _"Remus..." She looked at him, "Oh, Remus..."_

 _Lily walked forward and before he knew it her lips were crashing against his. She was snogging him! The kiss was spectacular, unlike he had ever had before. Although if Remus was being honest that was his first he had ever had. They pulled away to quickly and it was only as Lily pulled away did he notice his eyes had closed. He opened his eyes and saw her wonderful green eyes, the ones that never ceased to captivate him, staring at him with a wild expression in them._

 _"I-I just had to do that before I got married to James. Remus, I'm sorry but-"_

 _Remus crashed his lips against hers again, "Oh Lily flower! I've loved you since I meat you but James...James liked you too."_

 _Lily had tears starting form, "Remus I like you, I do...but I like James too and...I couldn't leave him, not when we're about to get married."_

 _"I-I understand." Remus nodded and started to walk away, "I'll...I'll always love you Lily flower."_

 _He left with tears forming in his eyes and didn't look back._

* * *

Now years later as Remus sat in his office looking at her picture all he wanted was to see his sweet Lily flower.

But she was dead, James was dead, Sirius was a murderer, Peter was dead, and Remus...Remus was dead on the inside.


End file.
